Letter to Heinz re. their Shitty Soup

I am an adventurous eater. I believe our Western aversion to eating insects completely ignores an ethically sound, inexpensive, and plentiful source of protein. In Norway, I condemned myself to the lowest pits of Hell by trying a free sample of whale. If I were a member of a Uruguyan Rugby Team stranded on top of the Andes, I might even resort to cannibalism (look up their story, it's incredible). In summary, I would eat bugs frequently, whale once, and people in very taxing circumstances. The only foods I can't stand are ranch flavoured Doritos and macaroni.

Brighton is not exactly renowned for its culinary delights. Finding a can of delicous-sounding Thai Coconut Curry Soup at Sobeys left me very excited.
Although I wasn't ecstatic that it is low calorie (they sacrifice important things like chicken to drop the calorie count), I thought it couldn't be too horrible.

How wrong I was! I was so dissapointed by this crap-in-a-can that I wrote Weight Watchers and their parent company, Heinz. As my father always says,

Put up
Shut up
or do something about it.


~ ~ ~ ~

Dear Weight Watchers/Heinz Canada,

I purchased your SmartOnes Thai Coconut Curry Soup with great excitment. Living in a small community, it is rare to find low calorie ethnic foods. With the strong reputation of the Weight Watcher's brand behind this product, I felt assured that this soup would provide a delicous and healthy lunch option. I recognize that creating a low calorie soup requires ommiting some high calorie ingrediants (including coconut milk, cashews, ets) that would otherwise be staples of Thai cooking. As such, I have very few requirements for a low calories soup. However, one of my requirements is that it not taste like vomit. Unfotunatley, SmartOnes Thai Coconut Curry violated this requirement. The blend of Thai spices were more putrid and pungent than 'fragrant and authentic', with an unpleasant yellow colour to match. The similarities between your product and vomit were further exacerbated by the soggy texture of the vegetables, which were reminiscient of partially digested food. I personally found the mushrooms to be the worst offenders.
I am fully committed to the Heinz brand, being a loyal consumer of your ketchups, spreads, and other assorted products for many years. I believe that SmartOnes Thai Coconut Curry Soup is a product that needs to be readjusted, and I look forward to repairing my relationship with your company.

A disheartened customer,

Isabelle Duchaine